“Delight thyself also in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4
In 2012, this Scripture really came to light for me. I was having a discussion with my friend about this verse and she was telling me how the Lord was wanting to know the true desires of her heart- spiritual, emotional, physical- all of it. That really stuck with me and I began thinking about my desires. Not just my wants, or what I’d like to attain some day. But the deep, personal desires in the depths of my heart. I spent a lot of time praying, thinking and examining my heart to see what those desires were. This was very serious to me and I did not take it lightly at all. After much contemplation, I realized what my longings were. Along with some spiritual, personal desires, I had the longing to be a mother. Some way, somehow, I wanted to be a mom and I let the Lord know that. Little did I know, that this verse and my desire would lead me on the journey that I’m on now. But, it was not an easy process.
Once I discovered my desires, I began to question what it means to “delight” in the Lord. I asked my parents, googled the meaning of “delight”, searched the scriptures, and even tried to look up “how to delight in the Lord”. Silliness had me thinking it was a quick answer and then I would magically receive my deepest desires. Like if I rubbed the bottle the right way, the genie would pop out and grant me three wishes. This went on for months as I struggled with what “delighting in the Lord” means. Months went on and I was still not a mother. I started to become frustrated with the Lord. I knew I loved God and tried to serve Him to the best of my abilities. So, I couldn’t understand why my desires were not being fulfilled. I became desperate. I became broken. I became helpless. And that’s when I found myself at the feet of my Savior. That’s when I discovered true delight in my Love.
There’s no way for me to really tell you what it means to delight yourself in the Lord than with this analogy. Imagine you have a coat. You’ve had it for a while, but now it has some holes and it’s dirty. You’ve been through a lot and that coat has always been there to keep you warm. It’s your comfort zone. It makes you feel safe. You love this coat & you love the idea of it. You love imagining yourself in it years from now and how it’s still keeping you warm in your safe little life. Then the Lord comes along and offers you a brand new coat. It’s clean, your favorite color and has no holes. But, there’s one requirement. You have to take off your old dingy coat, completely forsake it, and put on the Lord’s brand new one. That’s tough. You’ve never seen this coat before. You don’t know if it will keep you warm the same way the old one does. Yet, the Lord lovingly presses you to take what He is offering. At first, you’re very hesitant. You say, “It’s ok, Lord, I’m happy with what I have.” You spend time with the Lord from a distance because you just aren’t sure about that new coat He has. After awhile though, you start to find that coat a little more appealing. Maybe your coat isn’t all that great. So, you start spending more time with God and this new coat, while still wearing your old one, of course. You begin to see that the Lord’s coat does seem a lot better. The dirty one with holes doesn’t seem as appealing now as the new one that your Best Friend is trying to give you. So, you finally make that decision. In reckless abandonment, you take off your old, stinky, dirty coat that has comforted you for so long. And, in confidence you put on the Lord’s brand new coat He’s holding out for you. And, guess what? It feels a million times better and you don’t even remember what that old coat looked like.
That’s what delighting in the Lord is to me- abandoning everything that I’ve clung to for so long and plunging into the depths of what the Heavenly Father has for me. The more I’ve spent with the Lord, the more the desires of my heart have changed. Yes, the Lord granted the longing of my heart to be a mother. It was not in the way that I first envisioned. I clung to the idea, that old coat, of how I thought my life should play out for so long. Then, in brokenness, I finally gave it all up to God and He fulfilled my desires above and beyond what I could’ve ever asked for.
One thing I learned on my journey of delighting in the Lord- He will never disappoint you. He longs to go on your journey with you. He wants you to discover Him. He delights in you. The desire of His heart is for you to know Him.
So, trust me when I say, take off that old coat. It’s not worth hanging onto. The Lord has a much better one. You just have to take it.